**I am back-dating this entry, since it was f-o-r-e-v-e-r ago.**
Okay, as promised, here's the documentation of our Florida travels. As painful as this post was to write, it needed to be recorded so that one day years from now (perhaps decades), we can actually laugh about it.
So, as this is mostly for remembrance sake, do not feel obligated to read the rambling story unless you're extremely bored at work or killing time at home. Seriously, this is the longest blog post in the history of blog posts. Also, since it's so long, editing it for grammar/spelling would take another few weeks. My apologies, in advance.
So, where to start?
When Daniel and I decided to bite the bullet and take the journey to the beach, we assumed driving the treacherous 16-18 hours there was just something we had to do. As the trip drew nearer, Daniel said, "Why don't we ask my aunt (who works for Delta) if we can get some buddy passes? It would cut the travel time in half, save on gas, save on getting a hotel at the mid-way point, etc. It's actually cheaper to fly than drive!"
(Buddy passes are "seat request" tickets that you can use to board a flight with empty seats.)
Hmmm...flying with a toddler? It's bad enough driving with one long-distance and listening to the backseat meltdowns, but subjecting other innocent passengers to the wrath of an unhappy munchkin? Seems a bit cruel.
Daniel was already on-board (no pun intended) with the whole flying idea, while I was still convinced driving was the only option. Well, after a few calls back and forth between him and his aunt, it was official: we were flying.
Gulp.
Just when I was about to have my own meltdown, I saw this picture on people.com:
Okay, that did it. If Kourtney Kardashian can travel with a baby, by God, so can I!
Now granted, her baby is 7 months old in this picture and my "baby" is almost 2. This is like comparing apples and oranges. But still. It empowered me. We
were going to do this.
Daniel was downright giddy about flying as a family. Quite obvious that he isn't the one who spends 98% of his day with a toddler, isn't it?
Now I must say, things started out smoothly...we arrived at the airport on-time and Daniel was able to check all our baggage while Aubrey and I stayed in the car. I say "smoothly" when really Aubrey screamed and cried when Daniel went into the airport without her. Remember, she's a Daddy's Girl now.
Once the luggage was checked, Daniel hopped back into the car (much to Aubrey's delight) so that we could park it in the long-term lot.
This is when everything changed.As we pulled away from the baggage drop-off area, Daniel casually said, "So, we probably aren't going to be able to make it on this flight. There was a problem with the earlier flight and a bunch of people missed it. Now our flight is booked and there aren't any empty seats. So, lets see...where do we need to park..."
I was dumbfounded by not only the flight news, but the nonchalant way Daniel delivered it.
My response was simply, "2200."
"Huh?"
"We should park at 2200." (it's our home street number)
"Honey, it's going to be fine."
I knew at that point it was going to be anything
but fine.
We finally made it to the long-term parking and hopped on a shuttle to take us to the departure gates. Aubrey had a massive freak-out the second the automatic doors closed for no apparent reason other-than the fact she didn't like riding in this transportation device. There was one other man on the shuttle. We asked what airline he was flying and then reassured him that our little monster would not be on his flight. You could see the relief in his eyes.
As we pulled up to the departure area, Daniel and I scrambled to get our two carry-on bags, car seat, stroller, and Aubrey and then walked toward the ONLY open security line (which looked like an amusement park on opening day, I might add.). Aubrey instantly wanted out of her stroller and began telling all the people in line to "GET!".
We
finally made it through security and headed to our over-booked, over-crowded gate.
Aubrey was released from the confines of her stroller and basked in all the airplane goodness.
As we waited at the gate, our fears were confirmed...we weren't going to make it on this flight.
The next flight was in an hour and a half. We would probably be able to get on that one.
Probably.
Just as I took off with Aubrey around the airport to kill some time while Daniel sat with the bags/carseat/stroller, he called me and said, "Hey, make your way back to the gate. They might be able to get us on..."
As Aubrey and I made our way back through the airport, we saw Colonel Sanders (well, not the original, but today's version of the well-known figurehead.).
It was weird and totally random. I guess when you live in Oklahoma City, Colonel Sanders is about the only
"celebrity" you can expect to run into at the airport.
Anyway, we scurried back and just as I was about to ask Daniel if he saw KFC in the flesh, he said, "I just talked to my aunt on the phone and the Delta agent here. They all agree that we have to split up if we want any chance of making it to Florida today."
WHAT!?
"There's one seat open on this flight. One of us has to board
NOW. All the other passengers are already on the plane. I'll take Aubrey with me, and you just catch the next flight."
Aubrey jumped into Daniel's arms (again, a big-time Daddy's girl) and before I knew it, they were walking down the terminal.
I started
bawling.
What in the world had just happened?!
The Delta agent at the counter had to ask me if I was going to be okay because I was crying so hard. Daniel later told me that the pilot himself walked through the cabin and asked a traveling flight attendant not working on the flight if she would give up her seat so I could fly with my family. The flight attendant refused. Daniel and Aubrey were sitting right next to her. I don't know that lady's story or reason, so as much as I would like to be mad at her, I just have to let it go. I pray that if I find myself in a position like that one day, I will give up my seat.
I watched the plane make it's way down the tarmac through my sobs. I'm sure I looked like a scene straight out of a
Lifetime movie.
And then there I sat in the cold, empty gate all alone, praying through spells of tears.
When I finally pulled myself together, I ventured over to one of the windows. As I looked down, I realized this creature was inches from my face:
A golden grasshopper. I nearly jumped out of my skin. First of all, I detest most insects, especially ones with jumping capabilities. Not to mention I never knew "golden" grasshoppers existed. I instantly thought this must be some sort of omen. Was it good? Was it bad? I didn't know, but it was weird and I was tired of all the weirdness. First Colonel Sanders and now this? What was next? All the airport employees breaking out into choreographed song and dance? Why had I not already woken up from this bad dream??
As time started ticking away, people started filling up the gate that was set to depart. It was looking good for me to get on this flight. In fact, I kinda just assumed I would. I cried too many tears not to get a seat on this flight.
Well, just as the Delta agent was about to hit the "PRINT" button for my ticket, a man comes sprinting up to the gate. "PHEW! MADE IT!"
The agent looked at me and said, "Nevermind."
I crumbled. Right there at the counter.
I had now missed
two flights by
ONE person.
Utter despair.
Meanwhile, I couldn't communicate with Daniel because he and Aubrey were in flight. I sent text messages to my family asking for prayers and knowing if I actually tried to call them, simply explaining the situation would inevitably trigger another crying jag.
{I feel the need to stop and clarify something. I'm not someone who typically cries in public. Now, you all know that after having Aubrey I have turned into a sentimental nut however, I still can usually stay composed in
most settings. I remember traveling for work in my former life and having the motto when travels went awry, that you have one of two choices: You can be the adult or you can be the child. An adult finds a solution. A child sits and cries about it. I guess with 2+ years out of the workforce, I've lost my edge. This is something I vow to get back. (Remember a recent "Friday Funsie/Not-So-Funsie" when my car wouldn't start and how I found a solution instead of crying?! See...I'm toughening up!)}
Okay...back to the traveling nightmare...
Once Daniel and Aubrey landed in Atlanta, he called to inform me that afternoon flights to Destin/Ft. Walton were booked. No seats available. We could either stay the night in Atlanta and try to fly out first thing in the morning or rent a car and drive the 5 hours down to the beach.
After talking it over, we decided to rent a car.
(Sidenote: Aubrey did incredibly well on the flight. Only cried for a short bit until the plane started moving. Even took a nice little nap in Daniel's arms.)
Now remember, Daniel is in the Atlanta airport with a carry-on, car-seat, and Aubrey. This is a lot to juggle, even for a member of Cirque du Soleil. Luckily Daniel is one of the most resourceful people I know. He grabbed an airport wheelchair and strapped in Aubrey's car-seat with her in it. He got on the phone and started making a rental car reservation while navigating through the busiest airport in the world.
Daniel made the reservation over the phone and when he arrived at the Rental Car area of the airport, he veered left instead of going right. The left was for "Emerald" members. Daniel is
not an "Emerald" member. He had rented a car with his aunt (again, the one who works at Delta) who happens to be an "Emerald" member, and he just didn't think about it. He picked out a car, installed the car-seat, loaded up Aubrey, and then drove to the exit gate.
The rental car employee at the exiting gate asked, "Is your name Darren?"
"Um, no."
It is realized quite quickly that Daniel needs an actual contract before getting into a car and driving off into the sunset. Aubrey starts crying in the backseat. The lady says, "Oh, you have a baby back there! Poor thing! Let's see if we can't just have you fill out a contract here." Ah, what a saint!
After 1,000's of questions (Aubrey
still crying in the backseat for dramatic effect, I'm sure.), the lady says, "Okay, all I need now is your credit card."
"Ummm..."
Not good.
We don't own a credit card.
I know...I know...who doesn't have a credit card?! Well, we don't. We will blame
Mr. Dave Ramsey for that one.
"Well, I'm sorry Dr. Riherd. We can't accept your debit card. We have to be able to charge the amount of the car to the credit card if something were to happen to the car. You will have to go back and return the vehicle."
So, Daniel goes back to the rental car area. Parks the car. Unloads Aubrey, car-seat, and carry-on bag. Goes back into the rental car counter to work something out.
Aubrey is STILL crying.
The lady at the desk says, "We aren't supposed to do this, but your baby's tears did me in. You need to get that sweet girl home."
Daniel was able to take the rental car to his brother's house to visit while he and Aubrey waited for my flight arrive. Which, thank the good Lord above, I finally got on the 4 o'clock flight.
Now, I had the stroller with me (since Daniel had the car-seat) and for some reason the flight I was able to get on wouldn't let me put a pink tag on it to claim it at the front of the gate once the flight arrived. They
insisted it go to baggage claim. Whatever, I was on the flight, I just wanted to get to Atlanta!
Just a couple of hours later, I arrived in Atlanta. I practically ran from the arrival gate to the baggage claim area (which, I swear is at least 3 miles long) to see the two people I had cried buckets of tears over. Ahhh...to have the three of us back back together again was glorious.
Aubrey was ecstatic to see me, and Daniel literally cried. It had been a looooong day for us all!
So we then waited for the stroller to show up...
And we waited some more.
Aubrey was on tantrum #892, and we decided to find a baggage claim employee to help.
He informed us that we wouldn't be seeing our stroller for
at least another hour.
Daniel asked, "Are you serious?" to which the ever-so-friendly (sarcasm) gentleman stated, "What?! Do you want me to lie and tell you it will only be 20 minutes?!"
Wow, I know we haven't lived in the "South" for a couple of years now, but sheesh. I think I remember there being a little more "Southern Hospitality" than that!
Anywho...considering it was already passed Miss Aubrey's bedtime by this point, we decided to ditch the stroller. (We later found out that the stroller didn't "show-up" until the next day. Yeah, good call on NOT waiting.)
Daniel had to put Aubrey on his shoulders and hold her arms and legs up there while she fought and screamed the whole way to the rental car. She was throwing such a fit that her tears and drool had soaked the top of Daniel's hair. We were all quite a sight by this point.
We finally piled into the rental car and started our road trip to the beach.
Neither Daniel nor I had eaten a thing all day, so we decided to make a gas/food stop before Aubrey conked out in the backseat.
Our first pit-stop was in Montgomery, AL. Daniel went to the restroom first -- it was outside and unisex. He came back and said, "There's no way I'm letting you go in there. It's the most disgusting place I've ever seen."
Meanwhile, I bought some milk for Aubrey and warmed it up in the gas station microwave with what looked like two years worth of exploded burrito covering the entire inside. I had not packed any bottles in our carry-on, only sippy cups (Yes, she
still drinks milk from a bottle. They are all disappearing when she turns 2. She knows this, we remind her every day, "Enjoy it now, because when you turn 2, the bottles go away!"). Well, Aubrey wholeheartedly refused the milk despite the fact that she had been screaming, "MILK! HOT! GET IT, MAMA!"
We made our way to the next exit to get some food since there were no restaurants/fast-food places at the last one (of course). There was a Burger King on the horizon. Not my favorite, by any stretch, but it was food. Today was not the day to be picky.
I went in, potty-ed (remember, I didn't go at the last stop due to the horrendous-ness?), and then got behind the only customer in line. Just so happens that she was ordering for FIFTEEN people. Yeah. And then when she finally finished her insanely long order, one of her older kids ran up to the counter and said, "Hey, get me a Buck Double with no lettuce, ketchup, extra mustard, just a little onion, and two pieces of cheese. Oh, and some onion rings too. And a Mountain Dew. No ice though, just the Mountain Dew. Oh and I forgot, I want pickles on my burger too. Extra ones."
Oh. My.
GOSH.
Oh, and the restaurant was in such bad shape that the ceiling was dripping dirty black water in random spots. Of course every spot I chose to stand, it inevitably started leaking. You know how that goes. Anyway, I ended up just ordering some fries, which I realized were cold by the time we were on the road again. Ugh...
Now, since the original plan was to fly into the Destin/Fort Walton airport, we had no idea how to get to the beach house. Daniel had printed out directions to the airport so that we could pick up our luggage on our way to the beach house, but we started realizing that we would not be arriving until after midnight.
So...we called the Destin/Fort Walton airport to see if our luggage had arrived and if we could send someone to pick it up for us. Well, it wasn't there yet. The flights from Atlanta had been so overbooked that luggage was getting left behind on many flights. The baggage claim employee said they had more flights coming in and to call back in a little while to see if the bags had arrived.
We called that poor man at least 20 times. No luggage. It was getting later and later. The baggage claim employee said they would be there until midnight. So, finally at 11 o'clock, our luggage arrived and my wonderful dad and brother-in-law (who had both driven 10+hours that day to get to the beach) made their way to airport so we could have our luggage that night.
One problem.
They went to the
wrong airport.
They went to the private airport. The airport at the address that had the same number we were calling baggage claim. It made no sense, but then again, nothing during this day made sense so it was actually quite fitting.
The guys finally made it to the
right airport at 11:55 only to be told by a security guard that the baggage claim employees had left 30 minutes ago. The gentleman did say that they open at 4:30 in the morning. Yippy.
Meanwhile, Daniel's mom was on Google maps all night navigating us to the beach house. The house where we were staying was so new that it wasn't even on the map. This, of course, made it incredibly difficult to give directions. Thankfully Zubie is a pro at back-roads, and she got us there without a single wrong turn.
A little after midnight, we arrived...completely and utterly exhausted.
Daniel, being the most amazing man on the planet, got up at 4 a.m. to pick up our luggage (the airport is a 40 minute drive away), so we'd have everything when we woke up.
From that point on, things started looking up!
*******
Now, for the return flight...
I know, you've had more than enough of the "travel diaries" haven't you?! Well, this one only started out crazy. It was much less eventful and ended well.
So, to by-pass the nightmare we endured on our way TO the beach, we decided to take the earliest flight out of the Destin/Fort Walton airport. This time, to Memphis instead of Atlanta because if worse came to worse, we could drive from Memphis to Oklahoma mush quicker than from Atlanta.
Aubrey didn't sleep well at all the night before our early flight. She conked out an hour before we had to wake her up (4 a.m.). It's never fun starting a trip exhausted, but what are you going to do?
We finally made it to the airport (the right one, this time!) and met some roadblocks first thing. For some reason, every time the computer tried to pull up my name it came up as "Ezekiel, Bill". Seriously? I've been called many things in my life, but never Ezekiel, Bill. After a ridiculous amount of time standing at the ticket counter, the agent had someone help her fix the problem.
Then, as she was trying to print out the ticket, the printer wouldn't work. We stood at the counter for 45 minutes. We had been the first ones there and we were now the last ones after at least a hundred people had gone through.
The printer finally started working, and we rushed to the security gate. We didn't have a stroller (remember, we abandoned it in Atlanta?), so it was quite a scene trying to keep Aubrey from running all over the place. Then Daniel kept setting off the metal detector...never figured out why/how. We literally ran to the gate (picture the airport scene in Home Alone) and barely made our flight.
It felt splendid getting to fly with my munchkin this time around, even though she was still quite peeved that we had woken her up so early.
We arrived in Memphis, and I was able to witness Daniel's infamous stroller/wheelchair invention from his time spent in ATL's airport.
{Poor Aubrey, this won't be the last time your Dad embarrasses you! I promise!}After some breakfast, diaper/outfit change, and an absolute saint of a Delta Agent -- we were on our flight from Memphis to Oklahoma City!
Notice we are at the very back of the plane where the bathroom is located. We didn't mind. Lord knows things could have been much "crappier".
We made it home, and once we were all unpacked and settling back into Oklahoma life, I walked outside and found this on our front walkway:
A dead golden grasshopper.
Again, not sure what it means, but I'm glad that whatever
it is, is dead.
And next time, maybe we'll try our hand at traveling by train. Why not? Couldn't be any worse, could it?! :)
