I'll start with the one I recently finished...
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
I've been wanting to read this book after my friend, Cara, mentioned it on her blog.
By the way, I checked it out via eBook through our public library. This is such a GREAT resource when you're on a budget and addicted to your Nook/Kindle.
The setting for the book was in Lexington, KY, which had me feeling instantly connected through my Bluegrass roots. Set in the 1960s, Dr. David Henry is forced by a unexpected blizzard to deliver his own twins with only the help of his nurse from the clinic. His son is born then next his daughter. He recognizes immediately that she has Down's syndrome. He makes a split-second decision that alters all their lives forever by asking his nurse to take the baby to an institution. But the nurse instead disappears into another city to raise the child herself. The book chronicles their lives after that fateful decision was made.
It was a pretty dark-feeling book and gave me a pit in my stomach nearly the entire time, but boy was it gooooood. Lots of character development, detail without going into the severe minutia, and ethical dilemmas that had you working through how you would handle certain situations. It would be a great pick for a book club to read. I secretly wished I was back in college and could dissect it with a room full of twenty-somethings full of "deep" thoughts and philosophical tendencies.
If you're not that into reading...there was actually a made for TV movie back in 2008 of this book with Emily Watson, Dermot Mulroney, and Gretchen Mol. Not sure it's worth watching or how closely it follows the book, but it might be a nice way to fill up a lazy Sunday afternoon.
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This is a bit of a wild card.
It's all about the honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting done the Chinese way.
Here's the first bit of the book to really throw you into some major culture shock:
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
- attend a sleepover
- have a playdate
- be in a school play
- complain about not being a school play
- watch TV or play computer games
- choose their own extracurricular activities
- get any grade less than an A
- not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
- play any instrument other than the piano or violin
Some might think that the American sports parent is an analog to the Chinese mother. This is so wrong. Unlike your typical Western over-scheduling soccer mom, the Chinese mother believes that (1) schoolwork always comes first; (2) an A-minus is a bad grade; (3) your children must be two years ahead of their classmates in math; (4) you must never compliment your children in public; (5) if your child ever disagrees with a teacher or coach, you must always take the side of the teacher or coach; (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and (7) that medal must be gold.
Told ya it's hardcore.
And while most of the time I found myself saying, "This lady is a full-blown psycho!" there were bits and pieces that I (admittedly) thought were legitimate points.
For example:
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something -- whether it's math, piano, pitching, or ballet -- he or she gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.
My goal as a parent is to prepare you for the future -- not to make you like me.
Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only their kids to try their best.
First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.
All these Western parents just keep repeating things like "you have to give your children the freedom to pursue their "passion" when it's obvious that the "passion" is just going to turn out to be Facebook for ten hours which is a total waste of time and eating all that disgusting junk food...
Very interesting, eh?
I began to see subtle changes in my own parenting style after reading this book.
First of all, I no longer find ways to let Aubrey win when we play games. If she wins, it's because she legitimately beat me. At first, when Aubrey would lose a game she'd throw a humungous fit. Some days she still throws a fit, but other days when she loses, she wants to play again or another game so she can try and win that one. I feel like it's been a great "maturing" lesson for her.
Neither of these examples are groundbreaking by any means, but it took a book of this extreme to help me see areas that I wanted to change in my parenting methods. If you're looking for a book that is outside the "how to raise kids" box, this one's for you!
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Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore
This book's main focus isn't actually adoption. Its very core is the gospel.
In fact, the first chapter is titled:
Adoption, Jesus, and You
Why You Should Read This Book, Especially If you Don't Want to
Here are a few of my favorite selections from the book:
Adoption would become a priority in our churches if our churches themselves saw our brotherhood and sisterhood in the church itself rather than in our fleshly identities. For some Christians -- maybe for you -- it's hard to imagine how an African-American could love a white Ukrainian baby, how a Haitian teenager could call Swedish parents "Mom" and "Dad." Of course that's hard to imagine, when so many of our churches can't even get over differences as trivial as musical style.
Imagine if Christian churches were known as the places where unwanted babies become beloved children. If this were the case across the board around the world, sure there would still be abortions, there would still be abusive homes, but wouldn't we see more women willing to give their children life if they'd seen with their own eyes what an adoption culture looks like?
Ask him, if it's his will for you to be a mother or father through adoption, to give you a desire for it. Ask God to expose any sin or weakness in your life that could hold you back from adopting. Ask him for wisdom in making this decision. He'll do it.
My favorite part of the book was the chapter on Joseph (Mary's husband). The author breaks it down and shows how incredible Joseph's role was in being the adopted father of Christ. Totally amazing.
I cannot recommend this book enough -- it's a great gut-check into the heart of Christ and the life blood of the gospel.
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Angels by Billy Graham
I chose this book after finishing one of the most disturbing books I've ever read. It demands a post of it's own...but for another day. I haven't mustered up the strength or energy to write its review.
Back to Angels.
I've never read anything by Billy Graham, so this was my first written encounter with him. What I love about his writing is that he says nothing without basing it on a Scriptural reference. It's nice to know it's not just someone's "here's what I think about angels..." hoopla that really, truly doesn't matter.
I highlighted lots of sections while reading, unfortunately, this was also from my public library's eBook selection and my downloaded access ran out before I could write down all my favorite parts. Here are the few I did manage to scribble down:
I've never read anything by Billy Graham, so this was my first written encounter with him. What I love about his writing is that he says nothing without basing it on a Scriptural reference. It's nice to know it's not just someone's "here's what I think about angels..." hoopla that really, truly doesn't matter.
I highlighted lots of sections while reading, unfortunately, this was also from my public library's eBook selection and my downloaded access ran out before I could write down all my favorite parts. Here are the few I did manage to scribble down:
The most important characteristic of angels is not that they have power to exercise control over our lives, or that they are beautiful, but that they work on our behalf. They are motivated by an inexhaustible love for God and are jealous to see that the will of God in Jesus Christ is fulfilled in us.
Every true believer in Christ should be encouraged and strengthened! Angels are watching; they mark our path. They superintend the events of our lives and protect the interests of the Lord God, always working to promote His plans and to bring about His highest will for us. Angels are interested spectators and mark all we do...
If we, the sons of God, would only realize how close His ministering angels are, what calm assurance we could have in facing the cataclysms of life. While we do not place our faith directly in angels, we should place it in the God who rules the angels; then we can have peace.
This was such an encouraging book -- if you are one of those people (like I so often am) who tends to focus more on "attacks of the enemy" -- read this. It will help you realize just how lovingly God has surrounded you. How He provides divine protection and sends heavenly authorities to help and comfort you in this world. Thank you, Lord!
This was such an encouraging book -- if you are one of those people (like I so often am) who tends to focus more on "attacks of the enemy" -- read this. It will help you realize just how lovingly God has surrounded you. How He provides divine protection and sends heavenly authorities to help and comfort you in this world. Thank you, Lord!
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The BIBLE by...well...God. :)
Okay, let me just say this...if you haven't read the Bible -- cover to cover -- you absolutely MUST. It's a weird (well, it is!) book that has the potential to eternally change your life. I can't say that everyone who reads it will be "saved", but it's truly a supernatural book.
I made a resolution last year to read the ENTIRE Bible, and I did it. I'm counting it as one of my most major achievements. I have since decided I will read the Bible in it's entirety every year for as long as I live. Sounds intense, I know. My thing is: we have such a short time here in the grand scheme of life, and if I believe the Bible is the Word of God then I need to know that book better than anything in this world. It's my guidebook on how to get out of this hell-hole, for heaven's sake! :)
I am currently reading the One Year Chronological Bible after finishing the traditional NIV Study Bible. It's amazing to me at all the "new" things I missed from just a year ago. The Word is alive, and only until you read it fully and apply it to your life will you understand just how true that is.
So, whether you're a born-again Christian or not. Maybe you are 100% atheist. Maybe you don't care either way. As long as you're a living, breathing human, I promise you, you will never regret reading this book.
